Laura Ryan's Perspective

Below lies a segment of a letter that a dear, dear and too often far away friend wrote in response to the launch of this blog and our inquisition into the most important themes/priorities/blessings in life to always keep present. Her name is Laura Ryan and she is a sharp little Irish/Mexican girl unlike any other. Thanks Lo for getting your hands dirty. As you'll see if you keep on reading, some themes are already starting to grow through. I'll see if I can find a way to get improve the blog but in the meantime, Lo speaks for herself.

"after my dad died i had a renewed perspective which i've tried to hold onto. but to be honest once the fear and sadness abated it was tragic how easy it was for me to go back to my old stance. well that's not entirely fair or true. i still feel a more intense joy for simple things and i feel like what i want in life and don't want is becoming much clearer. but it certainly is something i struggle to hold on to; even after such a clear realization. once the intensity dies down you have to sometimes remind yourself what you've learned.

my stab at it (what matters) which is still evolving and still is what i am coming to terms with in my daily life is this:

1) we should accept ourselves. now that doesn't mean we can't change or shouldn't grow and learn and improve who/what we are but i really feel first we should just try to accept. accept that within each one of us lies great potential in both positive and negative forms and it's ok to have both. everyone has both. trying to understand who i am and what my motivations are is important in some respects but those things seem transient. and the "who am i" realm seems kind of bullshitty to me. if i have self-love and confidence in myself, then who i am shouldn't matter a whole lot outside of that and i find it an impossible thing to define anyway. you should like that person but more importantly i think is to accept your values, your strengths, your faults. we are duplicitous and wonderfully complex beings. duality abounds. you should trust yourself to be tested and have limits pushed. and it's ok if you act in a way different to how you'd hoped or expected. i'm not as great and likewise not as bad as i thought. strive for more but also forgive yourself if you do something, something you are ashamed of or never thought you'd do. we're human. learn from it.

2) outside of the realm of the self, and in my opinion more importantly-- we should simply love. other people bring such joy into our lives and leave us with wonderful and not so wonderful things that challenge us and help us learn. our family is what matters. our friends matter. creating your own family (in whatever form of partner/friends, etc) matters. the people we call friends, family, husband, wife, partner, etc. are those that bring meaning to life. i need people. they help me grow, learn, survive, love and question. they share in my life's struggles and joys. without them my life is near meaningless.

so i guess acceptance of self and love of others. for me that's about everything. though i'd agree with your mother that creation is also important. in whatever form you choose, creation is a very worthy endeavor that matters too.

hope the cerebral discomfort you are feeling is short-lived, at least literally-speaking. all the best joe,

love lo"

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